Post 1: Self-Image

2012-01-03T14:11:00.000-08:00

You know how the world is more obsessed with making fat people feel good about themselves than skinny people? I think it's a little unfair. Really, I do.

I'm skinny. I'm tiny. I am well-aware of it, and yet people seem to think that pointing this out, shocked by my pants size and my bony wrists, is totally okay. That it's the normal thing to do. They give me these awful looks. They're a mixture of envy and disgust. Like there's something wrong with me because I'm so small. Well, what about all the people that's fat? No one points that out whenever they see a chubby friend. That topic is avoided. They're sensitive to that person's feelings. And that is where I envy fat people. They could be fat because they choose to be or because they have a disorder, and no one will point it out, ask their size, how much they eat or say, "oh-mi-gawd, you're so skinny, I hate you." After hearing that so much, it's hard not to believe.

Being skinny isn't ideal. Being thin is. Healthy. I am not sick, though. I do not starve myself, despite everyone's assumptions. And it's just as rude as telling a fat person to stay off the cake. "Oh-mi-gawd, don't you ever eat?!" Oh-mi-gawd! Yes, I do. I bet I eat more meals a day than you do, hands down.

I know my size. I know how I look. I do not need to be reminded of it on a daily-freaking-basis. How much do I weigh? One-oh-five. How tall am I? Five foot four inches. I'm underweight in the sense that I cannot donate blood because I will pass out. And I am aware of how thin I am. People should realize this before they open their stupid mouths. Yes, I know how tiny my waist is. Yes, I am aware that if I breathe in just a teensy bit deeper, you can see all my ribs. Yes, I know my legs look like sticks. Yes, Anthony, I do realize that I am so skinny, the elastic waist of my dress does not stretch out enough to make the rest of the dress look normal. Gosh.

Every time I see a stupid post on the internet of a girl my size and a quote about anorexia, I hate myself. And I know I shouldn't. I'm healthy. I eat. I don't force myself to throw up my meals, I don't starve myself, and I don't over-exercise. Quit making me feel like a freak.

My point reiterated is that everyone only takes the feelings of those who are overweight into account. Because being overweight isn't ideal. They think they're the only ones who are sensitive about their body image. No one ever seems to think that those of us who are model-thin, not by choice, are actually self-conscious of that. No one thinks about the fact that maybe we don't want to have people constantly poking at our appearance and hinting or blatantly asking if we have an eating disorder. How is it fair to say those rude and hurtful things to us, and not to fat people?

Just think before you speak. Think; "Do I really want to be the asshole that makes this girl/guy hate themselves?" Why must we obsess over what someone else looks like anyway? That is none of your business. It shouldn't matter to you that I'm a size 1 and that I eat tons of junk food, and I only ever throw up when I'm extremely sick with the flu. That information shouldn't be asked about by random people. That information is for me to know, and if you're not a douche, something that I would share with you on my terms. If the need for it were to ever really present itself.

Quit thinking that just because I'm skinny, I want to tell you all about it. That I have nothing I don't like about myself. Very few people are completely confident with their appearance. And I would be if it weren't for those assholes who made me feel bad about being the way that I am. Fat people aren't the only self-conscious people in the world who are tired of other people talking about what they look like. Just think about that the next you're talking to someone about how they look. Ask yourself, and them, "Are they really comfortable with what I'm saying to them?"

Honest to Blog

Post 1: Self-Image